A Candy-Colored Clown

Sitting just inside the front windows of the Chocolate Bar, my wife and I had unobstructed views of E. Fourth Street. From our vantage point on Euclid, we could see scores of diners enjoying alfresco meals outside restaurants like Greenhouse Tavern, Lola, and Chinato – and we so desperately wished to join them. Just minutes before, we had been two of those happy people, celebrating the warm air with cool cocktails and loud friends. Having to watch the party from afar left us feeling a bit like pariahs.

In this business, they say, “A block away is a mile away,” and though Chocolate Bar is no more than 200 feet from Fourth Street, it seems completely separate from the action.

Alcohol helped, as it often does, arriving in the form of two shapely martinis ($9.95). Taking the bait dangled by our server – "My favorite martinis," he said, "are the chocolate and the coconut macaroon." – we held out little hope for drinks with bite. But contrary to our assumptions, the martinis proved to be both dark and stormy, tempering the sweet with welcome heat. Devouring both contents and straw (they're chocolate, natch), we mustered the strength to persevere.

For six years this high-profile location in the Old Arcade had been home to a Chicago import: Vivo. Since fall, it has been appropriated by an interloper from Buffalo. The first franchise of that popular five-year-old outfit, the Cleveland Chocolate Bar was opened by Joe Novak, a former construction company owner. Novak was so impressed by what he saw in Buffalo that he cut short his retirement to open one of his own. What intrigued him most, he told me, was the profusion of martini-drinking women.

Chocolate Bar lands in that nether region between nightclub and restaurant. And while moderately successful as either, it truly excels at neither. It's a cute place to grab a cocktail with friends, but a lack of suitable bar munchies makes it a challenge to drink for long without falling over. During restaurant mode, the budget-friendly menu has some cherries, but a diner can just as easily end up with a lemon.

As expected, chocolate dominates the cocktail and dessert menus. But it also finds its way into numerous savory dishes as well, and the results aren't always "sweet." One of the most popular entrees, we were told by our server, is the Chocolate Bar pasta ($7.95). Indeed, the description on the menu sounded promising: fresh pasta, white chocolate cream sauce, fresh basil. On the plate, however, those very ingredients conspired to create a thick, gloppy, cloying nest. It didn't help matters that the pasta was extremely overcooked.

Far more successful is the Mexican pork tenderloin ($11.95), which benefits from a lively spice rub containing cocoa and chile powders. This dish works precisely for the reasons the pasta doesn't, namely, the sweetness is faint and offset by heat. Sliced into thick coins, the moist, rosy pork is served with tasty but run-of-the-mill roasted spuds. A chocolate-slathered and toasted baguette ($8.95) proved surprisingly appealing, but why it was served with olive oil dipping sauce is beyond me.

We had much better luck at lunchtime, when we avoided chocolate-based items altogether. Salads tend to be big, fresh and flavorful, and sandwiches well-built and toasted to order. The Buffalo chicken cobb ($8.95) is loaded with crisp bacon, blue cheese, red onion, and diced Buffalo-style chicken meat. Another salad pairs fresh berries with feta and candied pecans. There are a dozen sandwiches, many of them grilled and served warm. The Ski Country ($7.59) astutely melds honey ham, cheddar cheese, and thinly sliced apples, while the Bella ($7.79) treats vegetarians to a baguette stuffed with roasted 'shrooms, peppers and goat cheese.

It's true that the space Chocolate Bar occupies is a knockout, a high-ceilinged affair with cosmopolitan flair. But the plastic laminated menus, T-shirts and roses available for purchase, and perpetual showing of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory aren't doing the atmosphere any favors. We'd gladly belly up to the bar for another round of those of those kicky martinis, but the menu's appetizer section lacks appropriate snacks. Items like baked brie with chutney ($8.95) and spinach and artichoke dip ($8.49) seem better suited for a cocktail party than a cocktail bar.

Of course, if you enjoy pairing martinis with mousses, there are fewer better bars in which to do it. Equal in length to the food menu, Chocolate Bar's dessert menu is jam packed with all matter of cakes, creams, crepes and campfire faves. Diners who aren't yet plowed can toast their own marshmallows and assemble their own smores ($11.95).

Chocolate Bar
347 Euclid Ave., Cleveland
216.622.2626